14 October 2002

PRO-GE LOBBYIST GETS A PIE IN THE FACE

most upsetting...

Wellington, October 14
This morning the public face of the Pro GE lobby group New Zealand Life Sciences Network (LSN),  William Rolleston, was on the receiving end of a  hand-to-face pie.
 
Media Statement
 
PUBLIC FACE OF GE TARGETED BY INTERNATIONAL BAKING  CONSORTIUM
 
Wellington, October 14
This morning the public face of the Pro GE lobby  group New Zealand Life Sciences Network (LSN),  William Rolleston, was on the receiving end of a  hand-to-face pie. The meticulously planned operation  left Rolleston licking his lips just minutes before  the AGM of the LSN at the Westpac Trust Stadium.
 
 The full facial presentation was made by underground  bakers of the Pacific Division of the Biotic Baking  Brigade (BBBPD) in response to LSN's lobbying for  the engineering of closer inter-special  relationships by breaking down natural barriers  between man and animal.
 
 Special Agent Puha of the BBBPD said: "He was pied  for a number of offences including support of Ag  Research in their transgenic servicing of the  controversial Waikato dairy herd; pushing for  dismissal of public and scientific concerns; milking  public hopes for medical wonder-drugs; and for  general attempts to turn bullshit into cream for  human consumption. All in all he was a prime  candidate for receiving strategic pastry."
 
 The pie was specially ordered to fit the particular  requirements of the target. Ingredients included cow  by-products, GE plant derived oil and starches, as  well as spices, emulsifiers and preservatives.
 
 The preparations for the incident began after the  Pacific Division of the Biotic Baking Brigade  (BBBPD) had received orders from headquarters in the  Californian Redwoods to conduct "Operation: Magpie"  on an executive of the Life Sciences Network.  Several Special Agents were actively taking part in  the infiltration of the location. There were no  losses amongst the agents.
 
 Rolleston is one of several apologists of the GE  industry that have been targeted in pastry uprising  throughout the world for crimes against truth,  language, democracy and nature. Others include Bob  Shapiro the former Monsanto CEO; Canadan Prime  Minister Jean Chretien and Keith Campbell, creator  of Dolly the cloned sheep and co-author of the  modest book 'The Second Creation'.
 
 In the words of Special Agent Puha: "The claims of  the LSN have been flying in the face of  international concern and common sense for several  years. Now that the tables are turned they cannot  wipe their faces clean anymore. If they try - we  will pie.
 
 Note to the editor:
 The BBBPD has recently established a network of  locally owned organic bakeries throughout the  country. It has links to 48 divisions  internationally, and has successfully inserted  recipes in over 1500 published recipe books in eight  different languages.