New religion

Item 1 is an unpleasant spoof of a Reuters article sent to ngin and gentech. Subsequently, we received what we feel may have been the original press report (item 2) upon which it was based. It certainly appears more credible.

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1. NEW RELIGION EMERGING IN AFRICA

August 6, 2001 (REUTERS) International aid workers are becoming increasingly concerned over what appears to be an emergence of a new religion in Africa. While the religion has yet to be named, reports from villages across the continent show a startlingly parallel development.

In many villages, blind children are increasingly called ‘little sacrifices to Gaia,’ and their swollen bellies, indicative of acute starvation, are held to be a sign. When they die, it is said, they will bear with them a message to ‘Gaia’ that their people remain faithful protectors of the environment.

Some environmental campaigners hold ‘Gaia,’ a female deity revered in ancient times as the ‘Earth mother,’ to be a metaphor for the interconnected, complex nature of life around the planet.

In Africa, hunger is widespread and vitamin A deficiency (VAD) causes widespread childhood blindness.

‘As someone who has dedicated himself to improving living conditions [in Africa] I find this new religion appalling,’ said Stuart Reeves of the Peace Corps. ‘It is as if my work is being destroyed by a reverence for childhood illness and death.’

Village elders across the African continent are claiming to have been visited by prophets claiming that Gaia will devastate the land and its people unless she receives these ‘little sacrifices to Gaia’ to prove that the people are taking care of her land. With the numerous languages spoken everywhere on this remote part of the globe, it is difficult to determine if there is a common origin for this religion. According to most translations, these ‘prophets’ are said to represent themselves as ‘green pods.’

Village elders are also saying that farmers must freely exchange and save their seed, or gonorrhea will devastate their people and American corporations will come to steal their farms. ?We must cultivate the seed of our own soil and no other,? said Oshimbe Mbwangu, shaman of the Tishiwambe. ?Our little sacrifices to Gaia, the blind little children, tell her we love her and hate Monsanto.?

Citing the precautionary principle, Greenpeace would not comment on this development.

©Reuters International. All rights, including mirroring and reproduction, are reserved.

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2. NEW RELIGION EMERGING IN AFRICA

August 6, 2001 (RUTTERS) African farmers, as well as international aid workers, are becoming increasingly concerned over what appears to be the promotion of a new religion in Africa. While the religion has yet to be named, reports across the continent show a startlingly parallel development.

In many parts of Africa, evangelical missionaries have spread the word that children in danger of blindness who could be helped immediately by simple practical measures, such as increasing the consumption of green leafy vegetables in their diet, must be left unaided while vast efforts and resources are poured into the development of a miraculous new holy plant known as the "Golden Rice".

Children going blind, when they could be easily helped with only a modicum of the money and zeal being poured world-wide into the new religion, are increasingly called "little sacrifices to BIO," and their swollen bellies, indicative of acute starvation, are held up as bearing witness to the glory that is to come when BIO holds dominion over all quarters of the earth.

The starving and malnourished, it is said, bear with them a message to 'BIO' that those in power remain faithful adherents to BIO-heaven which will radiate forth from WTO-Food-Mountain in approximately 2020, and that they utterly reject all false alternatives - no matter how simple, practical or inexpensive.

Some true believers hold 'BIO,' a male deity said to be the offspring of 'Bio-Techno' and his heavenly queen 'Global Capital', to be present within each seed that has known the blessing of 'Bio-Techno'. Such seeds are bound about with strict religious laws and observances governing their use and requiring the payment of fees to a special priestly class, often known as 'Mutanto'.

A few missionaries have been known, however, as an incentive to conversion, to promise that the seeds may in certain cases be made available free of charge - for an initial period. In Africa, hunger is widespread and vitamin A deficiency (VAD) causes widespread childhood blindness.

"As someone who has dedicated himself to helping those seeking to improve their living conditions, I find this new religion appalling," said Stuart Reeves of RealAid. "Practical projects that could transform the situation on the ground right now are being held back by bogus promises of a miraculous future." Mr Reeves claimed the real mission of the new religionists was to line the pockets of Mutanto and other BIO acolytes.

Government ministers across the African continent report having been visited by prophets claiming that BIO will never bless their lands or swell their pocket books unless they continue to allow these 'little sacrifices to BIO' to prove that the people are faithfully awaiting the golden Age of Bio-techno.

"There are no solutions other than BIO solutions", is the prophets' great revelation. "When BIO comes," they tell the gullible, "he will destroy all pests and cure all known diseases!" According to most witnesses, these "prophets" are said to represent themselves as "great white coats".

Farmers are also being told that they may no longer freely exchange and save any seed said to have been blessed by Bio-techno, or else the Mutanto priesthood will drag them through the courts. "We must cultivate the BIO-seed and none other," said Dr Oshimbe Mbwangu, shaman of the BIO-transfer service. "In the meantime our little sacrifices to BIO, the blind little children, tell him we love only his father Bio-techno and hate all self-sufficiency."

Citing the self-interested principle, the AgBIOworld fundation, a large part of whose membership is made up of the Mutanto priesthood and other BIO-acolytes, would not comment on this development. Their leader CS Snakerash, however, did say he'd been informed that all heretics and unbelievers would suffer terrible retribution for their genocidal denial of the many wonders of BIO.